Terrycloth (terrycloth) wrote,
Terrycloth
terrycloth

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FUCK CIV

Not the computer game, although I'm sure it's made me say that more than once. The fucking board game, though -- ugh. I never want to play it ever again.

It was fun, once, when we didn't know what we were doing and played with the introductory rules. Every game since has been the same -- Ed zergs across the board and kills someone as fast as his units can move. This time it was me, and I had no chance of putting up even a pretense of a defense even though I did as much as I could to go military and try to defend myself. It turns out that doesn't matter -- all that matters is getting the right wonder (which Ed got turn 2) and getting lucky with barracks (there's a *very* limited supply) and great people (he got a great general, which basically counts as two barracks). Once that happens (turn 4) there is literally nothing you can do to stop him from winning.

The combat has all this complicated tech and powers you can activate during combat and some silly rock-paper-scissors thing going on, but it's completely irrelevant since victory is determined ahead of time by who has the most barracks and generals.

The game ended when I got ROYALLY fucked by something stupid and walked away from the table. Then walked back because it wouldn't be fair. Ed offered to modify what he did to avoid having me quit, but it was pointless -- the only reason I'd continue playing at that point was to avoid ruining it for the people who weren't fed up with the fucking piece of crap stupid game and taking off the LAST STRAW doesn't actually mean I wouldn't be gritting my teeth until it ended.

But then Shawn and Tom also conceded and THEN we could stop. Ugh.

Oh, did I mention you can sabotage someone's technological development by taking out one of their armies in the field? Fuck their production for the whole game by building all the workshops in the world before they can research construction? I started making a list of the things that would have to be house-ruled before I'd be willing to play the game again, and I eventually just decided that it wasn't worth it. It goes on my 'never play' list:

Fluxx
Munchkin
Cosmic Encounter
Civilization
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