So the party was flung through the teleport gate, and found themselves on a battlefield. Luckily, they weren't actually in the middle of the battle -- all the soldiers near them were dead. Unfortunately, they couldn't afford to stand around and loot (like all the looters) because Leen was a summon, and so was the giant monster flying overhead, name of Bahamut. Apparently, bringing two summons near each other was a *really bad idea*, because just standing nearby made Bahamut's attacks go awry -- they became much, much more powerful and much, much less controlled.
So Mira went running off at top speed. Her top speed was very very fast -- something like 100 mph. Bob was hanging on to her astrally, and Leen was going to be summoned once she was clear. That left Kit and Cho, so Kit made Cho and himself weightless, then redirected gravity 90 degrees to fall sideways in the same general direction as Mira had run off. This worked because he could control how weightless he was, letting him slow himself to a stop instead of just careening into a mountain at terminal velocity. Of course, he wanted to get away from the battle, so he was pretty much careening at terminal velocity, stopping only when he was just about to slam into a mountainside.
Unfortunately, he and Mira lost track of each other (it was dark, middle of the night), so he fairy-fired a log, made it weightless, and Cho threw it up into the air as a flare. The intention was for it to give a direction, as they then headed back the way they'd come... unfortunately, Cho didn't throw it *straight* up, and it nearly killed them both when the weightlessness wore off.
But at any rate, Cho and Kit were the first to reach the inn, inexplicably sitting unmolested in a lightly forested area near the battlefield.
Innkeeper: "What do you want?"
Kit: "Oh! We thought this was a doomed, haunted mansion, where we could fight skeletons and zombies. I don't suppose you at least have a *drink* called a zombie?"
Innkeeper: "Sure do. Two zombies, coming right up."
Apparently, the zombie was so named because it separated the soul from the body (temporarily), leaving the drinker floating there on the astral plane while his body stared off into space. So when Leen and Mira and Bob came in, that's what Kit was doing. Kit offered to let Bob use his body while he was otherwise occupied... mostly, occupied with grooming himself, since his astral body was a fox and hadn't been cleaned in 1000 years.
So while Bob clumsily attempted to eat and drink with a human body (unlike previous possessions, there was no soul in the body for him to leech competence from), Kit discovered that somehow, he'd lost six of his tails! He only had two left! This was good and bad -- good, in that it meant that maybe, *maybe*, if he did break his curse he wouldn't instantly die of starvation, since perhaps his astral self had been cannibalizing its tails all this time. Assuming it wasn't just that the dragon or someone had stolen the others while he wasn't looking. Bad, in that he'd have to start over from scratch taking over the world... and maybe if he didn't break the curse within the next few lifetimes, he'd lose his kitsune soul entirely.
Of course, at the moment, he was feeling really calm and lovely, because he was sort of under the influence of magical drugs.
At any rate, the party had some food and less-magical drink, and went to sleep for the night in two of the inn's rooms. Which vanished, *poof*, as the moon set behind the mountains, dumping them and all their stuff into the dirt, and leaving them hungry again.
So they decided to head to the town of Service, which was on their side of the battle front. This meant they were in enemy territory, but their adventurer's papers gave them an excuse to be there and not be fighting, although the guards were very suspicious and kept looking for an excuse to arrest them. "Why are you wandering around at night?" "Ghost inn." "What are you doing in this area?" "Searching for a magic fountain for a very important, or at least very imperious dragon." "Have you reported in to Duke blahblahblah?" "The rules say we have 24 hours, and we just arrived." "Why are you standing over our town well with the desecrated carcass of a unicorn, casting spells onto our water supply?" "We just pulled the thing *out* of the town well and saved you all from a plague, thank you very much."
That last one needed to be independantly verified before the guards would believe it, but it was true.
The other thing happening in town, other than someone trying to poison the well before the empire and Bahamut could retake it, was a mysterious feast for the townsfolk, put on (Bob discovered) by the Church of the Eternal Void, which he belonged to. The Church believed that most people -- the ones who didn't learn how to reincarnate from the church -- only lived a single life, before being tortured to nonexistance in the stars and recycled as brand new souls. Therefore, it was up to them to (a) kill and recycle evil people, and (b) make the peopel who were not evil but were unlikely to reincarnate happy, by doing things like throwing massive feasts on the day before they were certain to die horribly.
Bob didn't care so much about that -- he'd been looking for a church for a long time, so that he could finally reincarnate for real instead of floating around all ghostlike and borrowing bodies.
Unfortunately, the church was a bit suspicious, and trapped him in a ghost-trap, where he spent a while yelling incoherently at them and demanding to be reincarnated. The rest of the party followed his trail, but weren't allowed to interfere. Those who had some experience with magic (everyone but Cho) realized that the Church's priests used a strange kind of magic, quite unlike normal arcane magic, which drew on the power of the gods. Not that this really mattered.
Anyway, they'd caught a spy from the Church of Starlight, and they were willing to give Bob his body, since he had papers that would let him travel freely to Ankh Morpork, where a grandmaster of the Eternal Void might be able to actually help Bob. The also let slip that the big war between the empires was a silly spat between the borderline-atheist Church of the Eternal Void and the lip-service-only Church of Starlight, neither of which gave the true gods their proper respect. No wonder they were making a mess of things!
The new body was a feriphal, trained as a spy. It was a tiny squirrel-weasel-porcupine thing, but it was a mammal, which was Bob's main criterion after experiencing too much drakivolki sex from the dragon (and, to tell the truth, before that) and had a nifty electric shock power, which Kit demonstrated by shaking his hand (and getting painfully zapped).
The priests promised to look through their records for anything about magic water, since finding the spring would probably get the party teleported back to the dragon, which would be a much shorter path to Ankh Morpork than walking for six months, since Ankh Morpork was another one of the destinations Bob could have chosen. While they waited for that, the party went shopping.
...and we haven't actually done the shopping yet, but so far Cho traded his 5 pounds of decorative metal for 5 pounds of steel and some gold, and Kit bought a new dog to replace Muffin as their pack-beast.
last session | next session