Terrycloth (terrycloth) wrote,

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So, your characters meet in a bar...

That's how the GM should have handled it. But no... he wanted to be more 'organic', so after we picked pregen characters or made up new ones, he tried to figure out why we'd all cooperate to solve his module.

Pregen A: Weasel 'Robber' with skills in killing people with guns, and that's about it. I picked this one.
Pregen B: Noble elementalist fox.
Made-on-the-spot A: Raccoon Pickpocket designed to be Brother John from Robin Hood. ("I only steal from thieves!") ("So... you steal from the poor, and give back to the rich?" "No, I keep it for myself.")
Made-on-the-spot B: Noble priest.
Only-person-who-played-Ironclaw-Much: "I'll use my experienced elementalist from my home campaign who also knows green and purple magic."

In a rare moment of sanity, the GM made the guy use the character as it had been at level 1, without the green and purple magic mastered. He kept forgetting it wasn't mastered, since apparently they were his favorite spells to use. This meant they failed all the time.

Then the GM asks each of us in turn what we're doing, and manipulates that so that we'd all be in the bad part of town at about the same time. So far so good -- now we can meet in a bar, right? Half of us are actively looking for work, after all...

No. Instead, he has us run into each other on the street. The Robber and Pickpocket spot the fox looking very out of place -- she's looking for something in the bad part of town, but doesn't know how to act around there. He asks us what we do.

Me: "Um... I guess I'll try to rob her?"
Pickpocket: "If I see him trying to rob her" (and he did, because he beat my stealth roll and I didn't beat his) "I'll rob him after he's done."
Me: "I leap out of the shadows, hold my gun to her head, and say, 'Your money or your life!'"
GM: "Um... intimidate?"

I get a 2 on 2d8 intimidate. She manages to beat that with her 1d4 resolve (??!). So, the GM rules that I'm too drunk to actually aim the pistol at her and instead aim it at the wrong one of the three foxes that are swimming in my vision. The other folks ask if they're anywhere close, so that they can get in on the fun. "Sure!"

The fox disarms me, and the GM makes a spark check for the gun and... it goes off as it hits the ground. It doesn't hit anyone, but now the watch is coming. The priest picks up the gun and puts it in his pocket.

So, while the not-really-a-green-and-purple mage fails repeatedly to cast green-and-purple spells on me, I angrily (and drunkenly) confront the priest with my other gun, calling him a thief and asking him to give my gun back.

Hotel security was not amused to hear someone shouting 'GIVE ME MY FUCKING GUN BACK YOU FUCKING THIEF!' but we explained we were roleplaying, and the GM told me not to play in character so *loudly*.

Anyway, he doesn't. Instead, he attacks me with his staff. Everyone else is running away to avoid the oncoming cops, although the not-a-green-and-purple-mage fails and gets caught. "Okay," I think, "The obvious thing to do at this point is shoot him, but that's a little more PVP than we probably want, since we're supposedly going to be working together later on." So instead, I try to fast-talk him into handing over the gun, because otherwise the cops will be after him for having the recently fired weapon on him.

I roll a 2 on my d6+d8 fast talk. He manages to beat that with his d8+d10 resolve. He tries to hit me again, I dodge. I try to snatch my gun back so that I can run before the guards show up. He dodges. He tries to hit me again, I dodge. I try to snatch the gun back and... FINALLY! Now I can run!

GM: "Actually, it's too late -- the guard is in sight. A porcupine with a big sword is advancing on you, while a skunk with a crossbow covers you from further off. 'You gonna come quietly, or you want to do this the fun way?'"
Me: "Just the one with the crossbow, right?" GM nods. "Okay, 'I'm always up for a bit of fun, officers.' Then I'll run off. This guy's really fast on his feet, so I figure I can stay out of reach of the sword guy and just have to dodge the one crossbow bolt."
NAGAPM: "You just tried to kill the only guy who can heal you if you get shot, you know..."
Priest: "Actually, I was the one attacking him."

Anyway, I do get shot, but it's a scratch, and it looks like I'll get away.

NAGAPM: "I'll cast paralyze on the weasel, if the guards let me."

THIS time, he gets the spell off. And I fail. The guards disarm me while I'm a statue and haul me back to get everyone's story.

Guards: "What's going on here?"
Me: "We were just practicing for a play, officers."
Guards: "Yeah, pull the other one."
Priest: "He was trying to rob... someone who ran off, so I stopped him."
Me: "You're the thief! You tried to steal my gun! Guards, arrest that thief! I'm pressing charges!"

Unfortunately, between the priest being a noble and the weasel robber being a 'scofflaw' that was already wanted for robbery and murder, um...

We never actually found out what the GM's plotline was going to be.
Tags: ironclaw trainwreck summary
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