Oh, and I wanted to rename my assassin 'magicarp' based on the effectiveness of his 'stab' power. "Assassin uses splash! Nothing happens!"
On the other hand, I did manage to permanently injure two of his best players, which made me feel all warm inside because the other player was a TRASH TALKING JERK.
So, he won 3-0. It would have been 4-0 but he left his runner wide open with several elves that could intercept. Of course, his runner was experienced and had both block and dodge, so even a 2-die block wasn't very likely to knock him down -- so I used a witch elf with frenzy to try to push him into the end zone and force him to score on my turn, just to see what would happen. Unfortunately, I got a 'defender down' roll instead and permanently injured the guy (he was the second) so I didn't get to find out.
Jerk: "So much luck for such a bad player."
Me: "... mostly *bad* luck. Everything I tried to do failed on a roll of 2+ all game."
Jerk: "Not one injury from hits."
Yeah, well, you see... dark elves have AR 8 which means they're not *that* likely to get injured. And you didn't get to block me much because I wasn't being a dumbass and standing my guys up to get knocked down again for no reason. I was planning to stand them up and dodge them out of contact (or when they'd help someone who hadn't been knocked down block, or something) but that's not risk-free so I'd do the important things like trying to pick up the ball on a 2+ before dodging random elf player number 6 out of contact on 2+. It would have been a turnover either way, though.
It's amazing, but against bashy teams like orcs an elf lying face-down on the ground is an unbreakable tether. They will NEVER MOVE THEM AWAY, instead holding out hope that you'll randomly stand up your players to get hit again. It's cute.