So I go to plug them back in -- which involves climbing under the desk because the computer can't be physically moved, since the monitor and power cords hold it taut in place -- and there's no place to do that. Not a single port shaped even remotely like the plugs that were just plugged in and working ten seconds ago.
They just vanished.
What the fuck is going on here?
EDIT: And the answer is... "spring-loaded case feature." No, I don't know what it was supposed to do. What it actually did was fling the mini-card with the mouse and keyboard ports deep into the computer's guts.