Terrycloth (terrycloth) wrote,

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I haven't been updating about my D+D games, but...

What do you get when two oracles and a summoner face off against a horde of Vikings in a compound defended by magic summoning poles?

You get the epic battle of Lantern Archons vs lions.

After triggering the perimeter wards twice (almost three times) and having to fight a pair of dire lions each time, we snuck up on the house where what we thought was the proximate source of all our troubles was having a party. We'd bought a bunch of illegal drugs to slip into their drinks and food secretly, and the drug dealer had thrown in a pair of prostitutes to sweeten the deal. One of them had gotten eaten by a dire lion though.

So, I changed into a fox and snuck up onto the roof to peek in on what was going on. It was supposed to be a stealth mission until I heard some of the enemies raping a servant girl while she begged them to stop. "I dig a hole in the roof" using my gloves of shaping "and summon some lions." Only one lion fit in the pantry, though, so the other lion got to be ceiling cat.

Unfortunately, this kind of blew the stealth part of the mission. But the enemies were so confused running around trying to figure out what the heck was going on... at one point we had nine lantern archons pestering the boss with their holy lasers, while he tried to hide behind a chimney and throw spears. At another point one of the enemies decided to take off his passkey armband to summon more dire lion defenders from the perimeter poles, only to be eaten before he could put it back on and order them to fight us.

One of the lions kept Baffo pinned down and grappled for about five rounds while Maffo healed him and he and Elric gathered up armbands to slap on everybody so that the dire lions would stop attacking us.

The last few enemies tried to fortify themselves in the kitchen and pantry. Which already had a hole in the roof to summon more lions and lantern archons through.

Then it turned out that the guy was just another mook in the chain of mooks and didn't have the person we were trying to rescue *or* our boss' family sword. Damn it.
Tags: pathfinder game summary
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