Terrycloth (terrycloth) wrote,
Terrycloth
terrycloth

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Spirituality

My spirit is a pathetic wretch imprisoned in a cage of habit and rules and fear, illuminated by a spotlight that only serves to accentuate the darkness surrounding it.

My other spirit is a cruel trickster that circles in the darkness, occasionally coming close enough to whisper through the bars of the cage, to give orders, or insults, or ideas.

As far as I can tell, the first is me and the second is my conscience, but I could have that backwards. Or maybe they switch off.... it's hard to tell which is 'me' at any given time since they really both are all the time.

One of them is focused and determined, and makes sure I do what needs to be done, and I don't know which. But it keeps me going after I've given up all hope.

One of them is sociable and outgoing, and kind, and gentle, and I don't know which. But I can still delight in simply being happy, most of the time.

And one of them occasionally tries to kill me, and I don't know which. It never actually gets close, don't worry.

Sometimes I wonder if there's any actual basis to this feeling of dichotomy, or if it's just another fantasy. Most of the time I'd rather just feel all mysterious and complex and accept it at face value, though.
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